Single Living with Kids? How to Balance Life.
“We may encounter many defeats but we must not be defeated.”
The hard truth is that 40% of children grow up without a father in their lives. What does this mean for you, Mom?
Whether you are coming from a separation or have always been a single parent, the responsibility is the same. The challenges are similar, and the bittersweet experience is inevitable. Raising kids alone is overwhelming to say the least. It is a huge responsibility that you have to somehow manage, on your own.
Here you are, on your own, with a kid or two. Maybe, you have a place of your own. A job or a business, and some pets too. You have your family, friends, and maybe a supportive ex-partner, financially supportive, that is. And then maybe, you have nothing, but yourself and your children.
Recognize and appreciate the good things that you have.
Of course, you have your kids to thank for. They are the best gifts ever. It is also good if you have a support system – your family and friends, who have your back whenever you need them. Strive to keep them close and let them know how you value their presence. It would also be a good thing if you have a stable and financially reliable job or business that can sustain your needs. Work hard to maintain a good financial position. Problems tend to multiply when money is scarce.
Know the enormity of your plight
How come other mothers have partners to rely on and share parenthood with? Why do you have to be on your own? You can be miserable, lost, and overwhelmed right now, it’s okay. What is not okay is staying where you are. When you’re at the bottom, the only way is up. So, cry your heart out, and dry your tears when you can’t cry anymore. Combat mode on. You have kids to raise, a house to clean, and a mark to make.
Look into the bright side
Surprise! There are advantages of single parenthood! For one, you are free to run your life the way you want to. No husbands to defer to when making important decisions. No arguments on how you will spend the money, no compromises on disciplining the kids, and no heartaches. Nobody will make you feel obligated to prepare dinner, dress up, or clean the house. And you will never have to deal with anyone else’s drama except your own. Oh, and the entire bed is yours!
Know and prepare for the challenges
Being on your own also means all the responsibilities are squarely on your shoulders. Nobody will share the expenses, the parent duties, and the household chores. Be prepared to work for two, earn for two, and be the mother and the father of your household. That is a big challenge. It will never be easy. The kids will need your attention, your time, and financial support. Your business or job will need your time and attention. You will also crave for your own time to enjoy your own indulgences. How are you going to manage? Somehow you will, and remember, the rewards are also doubled!
Just remember to ask for help
You may be single, but that doesn’t mean that you are alone in this fight alone. People around are willing to help, you just ask for it. Kids can help with the chores, your boss can give you a better shift, and a friend can take care of your small kids while you run some errands. Your parents and siblings will always be ready to lend a hand, or money, whichever you need. And then there’s the government that offers special programs and opportunities for single parents like you.
Know yourself
Start by searching your good points. What are your talents? Where do you best excel in? Then look into your passion. What do you love doing? Do you love designing cupcakes, decorating houses, or spending time with dogs? Are you great in organizing parties, writing marketing campaign materials, or in talking to older people? Bank on your strengths and talents, strive to be the best in your forte, and people will recognize you for it. Then, recognize your weaknesses. Are you bad in remembering dates, can’t cook a decent meal, or unable to manage finances? These are the areas where you need help the most.
Stand up and shine!
Nobody is holding you back from being the best person you can be. You are in a win-win position. All you have to do is survive each day and you already have won. Take the extra step and find your niche, work hard to achieve your dreams, and the best person you can be. Be successful as you can never be successful while being somebody’s wife or partner.
Single parenthood is not a handicap
Single moms have come before you. Not only have they survived, they have also made a mark for themselves, and have become successful in their chosen fields. Things that would have been impossible had they been with a husband or a partner. So, for the sake of your kids, and for your own, stand up and be proud of yourself. Single parenthood is just a situation, one that you have a complete control on.
